The Secret to Dating and Landing the One You Want

Most everyone goes through periods in life where they ‘fly solo’…either by choice; or just when they find themselves in between relationships.  

Alone periods needn’t be lonely – they can be wellsprings of needed self growth.  Then, when the time comes and  you’re ready to start dating again, if you radiate self confidence and energy, you can meet new people and find dates almost anywhere.  It will just happen naturally.  

Sometimes, however,  it’s necessary to make an extra effort to ‘put yourself out there.’ 
When you’re ready to rev up your social life, you need to be more active and to frequent certain places best for finding dates.  Most important, you need to be open and receptive to meeting new people. 

Be a joiner, not a loner.  Invite some friends over for a pot luck at your place and you’ll likely receive reciprocal invitations.  Don’t hold back from joining colleagues after work for a TGIF celebration.  And don’t be shy about letting your friends know that you’re open to meeting new people.  Blind dates are frequently more exciting than most people will admit.

Check out volunteer opportunities in your community as a way to be of service and you’ll also have the opportunity to meet new people.   Many single parents find dates at clubs like ‘Parents Without Partners.’  Or by joining a group associated with their religious affiliation and volunteering for some committee work.  Join a professional organization, health club, or a casual sports group such as a softball league, golf, ski, or sailing club.  Don’t rule out groups just because you’ve never done it  before.  If you’ve always wanted to learn how to sail,  join a group and learn.

Wherever you’re headed, get dressed and groomed to meet new people. Whether you’re walking your pet in the park, or taking your child to the playground – wear an open  smile.  Even if you’re just on an errand; running out  to get milk – you never know who you’ll meet in the dairy aisle.  Should a conversation start….keep it going:  You can get past the critical first  five minutes by showing sincere  interest and asking lots of questions.    

Be conscious of your body language.  Avoid folding your arms in front of you, hunching over, and positioning your body so that you’re angled away from others –  signals that you’d rather be left alone. Instead, make sure you’re displaying open body language by angling yourself toward other people, sitting or standing with an upright (but not stiff) posture, and uncrossing your arms.  

Use your eyes to make contact and wear a relaxed open smile that shows you’ll be a fun and interesting date.   

Remember that whether your dating life is ebbing or overflowing –  it’s important to stay positive.  Even celebrities, the most rich and beautiful among us, go through periods where they walk alone for a while.  So resist the temptation to worry.    Instead,  visualize all the good things to come and you’re sure to attract positive new people into your life.